Have you ever had those days when it seems like the worlds oddest people (I'm sure they all have sweet spirits) seem to flock to you like clowns to a carnival? Well, today was just that day for me. I needed to make a quick run to Trader Joes, so I threw myself together as best as possible (I've been sick the past couple of days) and dashed on over. I hadn't even finished strapping Wyatt to the cart when a woman approached me and said, "Have I already talked to you? No, I haven't talked to you yet. Um, I'm handing out these fliers about eyebrow threading...I just went and had mine done (she said while stroking her barely there brows) and they even do facial hair. You know, like the stuff you get on your lip (she said while POINTING TO MY UPPER LIP!)"
How do you graciously accept an insult from a woman who looked like that was probably her first ever experience IN a salon?? I just snapped the flier from her cigarette stained fingers, half smiled, and pushed my cart quickly on my way.
I wasn't in the store more than 15 seconds when another woman approached me asking what kind of conditioner I use! Considering I hadn't washed my hair in 2 days....I suppose the correct answer should be Vidal Mother Nature. She just stared at my hair, and I at hers, which looked as if it probably had a few more weeks of grease compared to mine. "Well, whatever it is, you hair looks beautiful." she said.
I hate that the store is so small...it's not like I can just say thanks and avert any reminders of the awkward moment from there on out....no, I have to see her in virtually every tiny aisle I walk down until I'm done! And each time I see her...she has to stop and spend 5 minutes trying to make Wyatt smile or laugh...which he was having NONE OF!
Mind you, these still don't top the cake to probably the oddest moment for me. When I first moved to Vegas, I was riding the bus home from work one day. The bus was completely packed, so you can imagine my surprise when I found a seat next to a woman near the back of the bus. Dude, the smell of that chica could have knocked a buzzard off a port-a-potty!! She just stared at me and continued to stare at me block, after block, after block. Then, outta nowhere, she said, "You have really pretty lips." I turned to look at her and was greeted with a smile from what few teeth she had left in her mouth which were coated in dried lipstick. Then she asked, "Can I use your chap-stick??"
"Derrr....wha?? Umm....I, uh....(uncomfortable cough)...I, uh, Oh! This is my stop...sorry!" It totally wasn't my stop....I had to walk 3 miles in the dead of summer just because I was too weak to say no to a complete stranger who loved my lips and wanted hers to be just as...moisturized? Apparently I didn't earn any street creds that day...darnit. But the carnival of characters I met during my bussin' it days made me a stronger person...or so I'd like to believe. Here in Vegas, I think awkward = normal.
How do you graciously accept an insult from a woman who looked like that was probably her first ever experience IN a salon?? I just snapped the flier from her cigarette stained fingers, half smiled, and pushed my cart quickly on my way.
I wasn't in the store more than 15 seconds when another woman approached me asking what kind of conditioner I use! Considering I hadn't washed my hair in 2 days....I suppose the correct answer should be Vidal Mother Nature. She just stared at my hair, and I at hers, which looked as if it probably had a few more weeks of grease compared to mine. "Well, whatever it is, you hair looks beautiful." she said.
I hate that the store is so small...it's not like I can just say thanks and avert any reminders of the awkward moment from there on out....no, I have to see her in virtually every tiny aisle I walk down until I'm done! And each time I see her...she has to stop and spend 5 minutes trying to make Wyatt smile or laugh...which he was having NONE OF!
Mind you, these still don't top the cake to probably the oddest moment for me. When I first moved to Vegas, I was riding the bus home from work one day. The bus was completely packed, so you can imagine my surprise when I found a seat next to a woman near the back of the bus. Dude, the smell of that chica could have knocked a buzzard off a port-a-potty!! She just stared at me and continued to stare at me block, after block, after block. Then, outta nowhere, she said, "You have really pretty lips." I turned to look at her and was greeted with a smile from what few teeth she had left in her mouth which were coated in dried lipstick. Then she asked, "Can I use your chap-stick??"
"Derrr....wha?? Umm....I, uh....(uncomfortable cough)...I, uh, Oh! This is my stop...sorry!" It totally wasn't my stop....I had to walk 3 miles in the dead of summer just because I was too weak to say no to a complete stranger who loved my lips and wanted hers to be just as...moisturized? Apparently I didn't earn any street creds that day...darnit. But the carnival of characters I met during my bussin' it days made me a stronger person...or so I'd like to believe. Here in Vegas, I think awkward = normal.
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