Wednesday, October 21, 2009

First Plane Ride (continued)

I suppose I should mention how Wyatt's first (and second) plane ride went. This is a story of frustration, tears and mad skills. While it's quite apparent that this child has some serious issues with moving the green gunk outta his bowels, I don't really want to take credit or agree with Steve that Wyatt could possibly be born with my slow intestines. Mostly because my "slowness" wasn't something that I was born with, no, it's something that came into my life around the age of 5. Bear with me, I'll get to the plane ride story...this will all make sense shortly :)

I recall MY first plane ride when we were moving to New Hampshire. I believe that the plane ride went well for me...but that's not the point of this story. My story begins when we landed in New Hampshire and I innocently told my mother that I needed to go to the bathroom. I recall walking into the biggest bathroom I had ever seemed like an endless row of stalls. I quickly went into a stall to take care of business (this was about the time I imagine that the auto flushers came out). I don't know if the sensor thought I had stood up from the toilet or if it just picked a totally helpless 5 year old to scare the crap out of (no pun intended). Whilst in mid poopy, my toilet began to flush on it's own and I, faster than lightning, was under the stall door with my pants around my ankles and a fresh one caught between my cheeks. I was TeRrIfIeD!! Thus began my fear of all things toilet which obviously led to the "slowness".

Wyatt did great on the flight to Texas, it was the flight back that was, ummm, not so fun? He only pooped ONCE the 10+ days that I was gone, so my mom and I took him to a doctor to yet again see if there was something physically wrong with him. All we ended up with was an X-Ray (which clearly showed how backed up he was), a finger up his pooper (man that had to hurt) and the advise to give him apple juice or prune juice with his bottles until he cleaned himself out.

Well, the apple juice wasn't working, so after 2 days of that, I switched him to prune juice. He got about 3 oz the day that we flew home and while on the plane, he so happily decided to fill his diaper with the equivalent of his body weight in crap! AND, to make things worse, the airplane stall with the changing table was outta commission, so all that was left was the little, tiny, claustrophobic stall in the back of the plane. So off I went, carrying my stinky little guy (ya'll, his poop stank worse than any adult poop I've witnessed...and why wouldn't it? It had been marinating in his bowels for over a week!!) I opened the door to the bathroom and this is the part where the mad skills come in. I had to balance this little dude on the toilet lid (he's a big friggin' kid! And wiggly!) and change his diaper (all the while trying to not make the plane go down cuz his diaper was being sucked into the drain in the sink which from the sounds of it was pressurizing the cabin all by itself!).

Thank the good Lord that it wasn't a packed flight! I ran outta diapers and this kid was still goin' like the energizer bunny! We walked off the plane, me ready to cry, him smiling at anyone who did a double take as we walked by. I'm sure they were all wondering what that awful smell was...surely it couldn't be coming from something so cute and smiley, right?

Ugh, I'm shuddering just rememberin' it all. So, here's a little vid I found on youtube to make poop a little bit funnier :) ENJOY!

*Note: Watch for the baby's my fav ;)

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

2 Months and 1 Week

Steve snapped some shots of our little Wy guy at the cabin a few weeks back. Here he is at 2 months and 1 week (he's now almost 3 1/2 months old!).

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Totally Got My Trash Kicked!

This last weekend I went with a few family members down to Cypress California for my brother and my nephews birthday. It was a blast! My nephew is just adorable!! He's getting so big and man is he gonna be a lady killer when he grows up!

(I realize all these pics are blue...don't tell Steve!)

We also visited Sunset Beach on Saturday...B-E-A-utiful! The weather was just absolutely awesome!

Wyatt nearly slept the entire time we were there...must be something about the waves crashing on the shore and the gulls squakin' in the air that just lulls you right to sleep :)

I sat on the beach watching everyone play in the ocean. Steve (my bro) brought out some boogie boards and it was hilarious to watch my sisters try to ride them. I'm totally trying to break outta my chicken I begged my mom (who I totally thought was more chicken than I, but turns out that I am sooooo much more chicken than she....I'm not even worthy of the title "chicken"...that's how worse than chicken I am) to go out and ride the boogie board with me. I mean, how lame could I possibly look if there's two of us out there lookin' lame together?? You know, much like misery loves company...well, apparently chickens like each other too! She said she would if I off to the shore we ran to convince my brother to show us how it's done.

First lesson...mother nature will always come a callin' if you go throwing yourself into cold water. I got up to my thighs in sea water before I instantly had to pee! It didn't make matters any better that I was laughing my head off trying to walk as the waves would crash against me and the current would quickly pull me in the opposite direction. I couldn't help but do the pee pee dance trying to control myself. My mom was yelling for me to just pee already...but all I could think about was that episode of Grey's Anatomy where that microscopic fish swims up that dudes way was I gonna take a pee in the ocean!

I kinda sorta figured out how to jump the waves and then turn and push off with them so that you can ride them to shore. Well...I took off on this itty bitty wave (HELLO...I told you I was totally not worthy of the title "chicken") and needless to say it didn't take me very far, so I sat there floating in the water waiting for the next wave behind it to take me further into shore. DUMB IDEA! Before I knew what was happening, the wave completely submerged me, flipped my legs over my head as I sucked in a huge gulp of sea water and tried to navigate my way to the surface (in less than 3 feet of water). I finally stand up...but can't open my eyes yet cuz I'm scared the salt water will burn. With my arms out to my sides, I try to balance against the under current that is literally pushing me down....and once again, down I go! This time I'm fumbling/running sideways trying to catch my balance...meanwhile I totally got sand burn on my knees and elbows as well as a nice exfoliation treatment on my bum! (darn near had to steal Wyatt's diaper rash cream just to sooth the pain!) I'm sure those that witnessed this little flub were thinking I was drunk...yeah, that sounds better than the truth!